I finally have a reason for my clumsiness, tingling, fatigue, vision problems and everything else I've been going through for the past 10 to 15 years.
Every time I went to see a doctor I was told that there was nothing wrong with me. Some told me to see a psychiatrist. others attempted to come up with a generic answer. I've been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, degenerative disk disease, irritable bowel syndrom and chronic fatigue syndrom. I've been poked, prodded, ignored and made to feel like I have no right to know what's wrong with me.
Finally, I went into the hospital in a small town roughly 20 miles from my home. Off and on during the previous week I had trouble seeing, walking thinking and sleeping. The emergency room doctor was basically a dick. He told me I needed to go home and stop complaining over nothing. Since I had spent the evening having dinner, he assumed that I had also been drinking. I don't drink or take any drug stronger than a tylenol so he ran some tests.
I was admitted into the cardiac ICU for observation, after telling him for 3 hours that it had nothing what-so-ever to do with my heart. He said, "Yeah, well I have a degree that says it is." Asshole! At that moment, I wanted to place a bet with him, but decided to let it go. He wouldn't have paid it anyway and I was getting worse.
He gave me morphene and nitro and walked out.
The next morning, I woke up with another doctor staring at me. He asked me to tell him my symptoms again. I told him everything I had been going through for the last week and he said, "You've had these symptoms for years. Every doctor you've seen has told you it's nothing, right?"
I told him that he was right and he asked how long my muscles have been jerking. I told him that has been going on for a few weeks, but that I figured it was because I've been working extra shifts.
He looked me dead in the eye and said, "First of all, you're not crazy. Doctors are usually too busy to try to fit a puzzle together. They will give a 'junk' diagnosis when they're stumped, bored, in a hurry or just plain don't care. I've been watching you sleep for the past hour, you've been in pain for the entire time, you shake your arms and rub your legs, which tells me they're tingling. Your leg and facial muscles twitch and at one point, you even cried. You have MS. We'll do an MRI to confirm and I'll keep you in here for a few days so you won't have to come back to do physical therapy. I'm transferring you to a regular room so you can get more comfortable and I'll come back in to talk to you once you're settled.
This man is a God send. He sat with me for what seemed like hours and talked to me. He answered every question I had and offered to help me with disability. I told him that I want to continue to work and he said, "Yes, and you can. But we need to get the paperwork started now. If we wait until you need it, it could take years for it to be approved. I'll get everything started and set you up with a Neurologist. If you need anything, call me."
He gave me a card with his cell phone, office phone and fax numbers and promised he would be there for me.
So far, he's kept his word. The disability papers are ready to be sent in, I have an appointment with a neurologist and have been working on my coordination.
Hell, I thought I was just clumsy. Turns out, my nerves are dying; go figure.
I'm in the process of learning all I can about MS. My doctor said that the symptoms vary by patient and that the progression of the disease also varies. He said that at the moment, my progression seems to be advancing. It is possible for it to slow down, but it won't repair what's already been damaged.
All in all, I'm relieved. The disease sucks, but knowing what it is helps.
